Monday, November 9, 2015

Random Feelings Blog

   
     Just a laugh till you get all my feels


Who journals? Who journals the 
about reactions or general feelings that spring up out of music, specifically YouTube creeping. John Denver, Ben Folds, The Dead, Vampire Weekend (for the cool kids), Deep Banana Blackout, Lisa Lisa & the Cult Jam and when Full Force is involved.
Damn I need to pee. Always happens this way doesn't it. 
Anyway, music and journaling, I do it. Hard.
I've had the hardest times. I hate saying it's all been bad. I have joy in my daughters eyes, fart jokes, my boyfriends selflessness, my dog Bill, but I sometimes can't hold on to it long enough. 
One of the most brilliant and brave personalities and just the best influence on any life, she's dying. I saw Kite by U2 and it sent me into this sad spiral. We are Theta's and kites are important to us, but Bono nor The Edge wrote about Theta so let's get on with it. 
When you lose someone or something you love, you grieve. We all grieve in so many different ways but we do it.  
I've been in this loss cycle that is a pittance to some and MT. Everest for others.
Joy like everything, for me it seems, has been so temporary. Like a New Years Kiss. I didn't know if it was correct to capitalize it, or if it came to me that typed way because it was capitalized on. 
What I think, I have to figure a way to keep joy stuck to me like a buttons, so I can be covered in it, like Ramblin Rod. (Google is your friend kiddies.). You know what I mean though. If there weren't that special button, those great writers wouldn't have the material to make us swoon too.
River by Joni, https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GpFudDAYqxY that is me too, a lot when I was single. It reassures me that I'm not totally alone. That's a duh asshat moment. The point I wanted to make, it reassures me when I've got my shit figured out and  also when it's in pieces, some lost forever. It all keeps me from forgetting that joy exists. 
I know when I watch Have You Forgotten by Red House Painters, http://youtu.be/kXsiz5opmDc the Audrey Tautou vehicle, I know I've got to find a joy button. Not buzzer, but fuck, that shit makes me smirk when I'm down, so add "Joy Buzzer" to the list. More convenient if she were Joy Buzzy than Ruth Buzzy. The more the merrier.
After I've let out the feelings, like a scary movies or any true crime shit, I have to watch something wholesome, like Disney shit. 
After a boo hoo YouTube spiral, that wholesomeness is Call Me Maybe parodies... Specifically with Ashley Tisdale, Bieber and Selener. Whoever says "shit just got real", I bet she's mortified for saying that now.. By the way, who was holding that night because that was not Kool Aid powered. 
Just some stuff to think about. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pZTkrP6RawQ


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